This is every night

I woke up thinking someone was standing in the corner. She was asleep still, slowly edging me off the bed like usual. I thought it meant something that she was always filling any space I gave up, like I was dating Argon gas. The corner was empty, because what is this a horror story, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that the room should anyway be vacated.

I left her there with the doom of my imagination and walked into the bathroom, maybe quicker than was reasonable in the dark but what can you do. With the bathroom light on I felt weird about looking in the mirrors, and I checked behind the shower curtain, which it’s always these just awake moments where I get most irrational. I tried to tell myself that this indulgence would only be dumb until that one time I’m right.

I used the toilet and thought about waking her up, but then I’d be chastised for being silly or for not getting her out of there immediately, depending on how serious she took this particular dream. She was always back and forth on if they were real at all.

After that I watched television on the couch, some fake health show set up like a news interview so I would buy a supplement, just kind of lost in the rhythm of their back and forth sales pitch. I woke up to her nudging me and looking sad, like what is this about. It’s a new betrayal, sleeping alone, which that’s not what I’d meant at all.